I couldn't feel more pain knowing that the guy that I loved for 5 years that once hated me and planned to run off with my friend's friend. I feel very painful facing him ever again. I have been living in a dream, that I am lucky to receive unconditional love and will live with this guy happily ever after. But everything is a dream. Eventually, I have to wake up.
After all, who do I think I am? I am just an ordinary girl. Average looking, average job, bad temper, lazy, getting old... why should I be treated differently or better than any other girl? Eventually, I will become old, ugly and nobody wants to look at me. Why SHOULD I be loved unconditionally and faithfully? I am just too idealistic and expect gold falling from the sky.
I feel that I am living in a big lie. I am like this stupid duck surrounded by lies and felt happy. How can I ever believe any man? Why can they be this bad? Even the person I believed so much and trusted so much can turn out like this. There is nothing impossible in this world. I just have to admit that it's unlucky being a girl. It's sad to grow old and become unattractive. I can do nothing but to accept the reality.
